Back story?

So let’s put a little bit of a back story out there, I think we’re starting to know each other pretty well.

I’m 20 years old soon to be 21(may 15^th) and I have like so many of you out there struggled with my weight for my entire life. I never had restrictions on food when I was young, or really ever. A lot of it had to do with the fact that my mother was never there, she was working two jobs to make the mortgage and my dad got caught up in a substance that let us just say is undesirable, so my mother kicked him out so that that aspect of him would be something we the children would not have to deal with. So with mom at work all of the time, dad out of the picture and two teenage sisters that really couldn’t care less about me, I ate what I wanted when I wanted. This was even made worse (or better, my 8-12 year old self would have told you) is that when my mother and I did spend any time together it was always accompanied with my favorite take out or dine in. Which is why till this day I expect the food that I want when I want it, and almost always refuse to eat anything else because what I’m craving is the only thing that will satisfy the hunger, if I eat something else I am still hungry(that is if I crave, which now is rare). Tell me if that’s ever happened to you because I am certain it can’t just all be in my head.

So those were my eating habits up until I was about 14, then my mom was all of a sudden around and it seemed like she was in my way a lot! But once she was less busy with work she has been busy with family, which results in a lot of eating out, family always wants to eat and so we go, because were on the road all of the time, I spend more time in the car than I do in bed, let me put it to you this way, my sister and her family live with my mom and I and I see her maybe 3 times a week and she doesn’t work or drive so it’s rare that she’s out of the house. My life is lived out and about; my laptop and my blackberry are the only things that keep me connected to something more than the pavement. I am starting to get tired of it and I think that as soon as I can I need to get away from my mother, because if it wasn’t for her I’d get a lot more sleep a lot less food and a lot more down time. It’s her family I’m always with, it’s her errands I am always running.. for the most part.

Which brings me to life now, I am currently employed at borders book store and I am attending a community college to get all those pesky credits they don’t tell you you are going to need to get in to a university in high school. It’s only my second semester of this and although I am enjoying it, I feel like I could be doing more especially because without financial aid I am really struggling right now to make ends meet. But! That is part of the beauty of life, who would we be without hardship? We would be boring. The trials we face in life are what build our character, so I’m grateful for the struggle although some days I don’t feel like I can go on. Optimism is key.

Well that didn’t give anywhere near as much back story as I intended but we’ll just call this installment number one. n_n

(Currently listening to Van Morrison’s brown eyed girl)

Veronica Pickles DAY 2 10:54am